I’m taking a quick break to restructure. In the meantime, I’ll post once or twice a week articles or people I find interesting. Be well.
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger — something better, pushing right back.” ~ Albert Camus
A friend gifted this quote to me yesterday. The words resonanted so deep I almost started crying. Life has been beaten, bruised and broken me. Yet, there is something in me that keeps gathering together to stand up. This time ’round instead of seeing the broken and bruised pieces of myself as weaknesses, I see them as beautiful war wounds like in the Japanese art of Kintsugi. You only get this kind of beauty, depth and scarring by engaging life.
Monday, I’m heading into another Crossfit box. A friend suggested his center. It sounds like a great community, and the classes look fun. Venturing into reclaiming fitness makes me nervous. As a survivor of sexual assault, the idea of a smaller, less powerful body, and more conventionally attractive is scary and feels quite vulnerable. I have to trust that no matter what I’ll be ok. I have so far. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve come through rough, dark experiences. Life is slowly getting better. Along with trust, in the moments of fear and doubt, I must also remember that invincible summer that rages in me.
There are days I’d like the world to stop so I can take a breath. The last time I wished that I wound up sick in bed for a week. From the holistic point of view, I completely understand about mind/body/spirit/emotion connection. I get why I got sick, but I don’t like it and didn’t appreciate it. Too many things to do to be sick. Or so I thought! (Always learning lessons.) Now my practice when life threatens to overtake me is to take a time out before a virus waylays me again.
Active meditation and prayer.
Get out for a walk.
Move to another room at home to be alone.
If at work, book a conference room to work in alone for 30 minutes.
Call a friend for a new perspective.
The time out feels as if it add oxygen to the air I’m breathing, and calms the buzzing in my head until I can resume taking it one day at a time.
Note: I found the image here close to the bottom of the page.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
The vase in the picture was repaired by Kintsukuroi or Kintsugi. “Kintsukuroi or Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing chipped and cracked ceramics with gold so that the object becomes more beautiful for having been broken.” As I accept and love all of me, I begin to see beauty and strength in places where once all I saw was shame and weakness.
Note: The photograph is Shoki Imari vase with kintsugi by David Morrison Pike.